epiphany: i am who i am
yeah, that’s God’s name. But it is also a good concept for me to connect with.
I’d like to take this opportunity to redirect my three readers over to my buddy Scott’s blog. Scott posted some thoughts on this idea. Read them, and then come back to the rest of this post.
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Welcome back.
I think churchasaurus’ (that’s our word for giant mega churches…for more info, check out Churchasaurus.com.) try to be sexy because they want to attract a crowd that is into image. The reason they want to attract this crowd is primarily financial. If I have to choose between drawing in a crowd of forty-somethings who make an average of $80,000 per year, or I can draw in a crowd of college kids whose income can most easily be described by how many packets of 10¢ Ramen they can afford in a given month, it seems like a no-brainer, right? I’ll bring in the crowd that will bring in the ducats.
But having a bigger budget or snazzier powerpoint or whatever doesn’t make you an effective church. Being richer is not the same thing as being better.
Excellence should be viewed in terms of what you are accomplishing in terms of your mission. Sure, for XYZ company that sells widgets, making as much money as possible is an end in itself. But churches don’t (shouldn’t) exist to bring in the bucks.
Our mission at New Horizon is simple: Reaching Out, and Building Up. The measure by which we should be judging our excellence is by whether we are accomplishing that mission. Are we connecting at all with those outside our doors? Are we expressing love to them? Are we building people up? Are we helping them become something better than they were before they came in contact with us? Is God pleased with who we are becoming?
I am who I am. I have plenty of personality quirks. Many of you would call them flaws. But I am who I am. I shouldn’t try to be someone or something else. My task is to take the raw material that God gave me and work it to result in something good.
I am a dreamer. I am a big picture thinker. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Well, it depends on how I work it. Ask my wife if it’s a good thing when I neglect to take out the trash because I’m busy sitting around trying to come up with a way to end poverty worldwide. She will tell you that I tend to forget very simple things. Ask my boss if it’s a good thing when I forget important details at work because I’m dreaming up a new program structure that might be more effective.
I need to work my big-picture-edness to result in good. I need to put myself in situations both at work and at home where I can utilize my ability to see something for what it could be. I should not take on tasks that involve a ton of detail management. I’ve taken on projects like this, and I have consistently failed in them.
I have found that I need to surround myself with people who complement my dreaming with their attention to detail. I need people around me to balance me out. I need to take on big-picture projects/opportunities and I need to allow myself to dream.
I am a fighter. I am always prepared to argue if I need to. I’m not afraid to defend myself if I feel taken advantage of. This can be a negative thing if I’m too quick to fight when I could sit back and be a bit less confrontational. It can also be a positive thing when I am standing up for the oppressed, or when someone honestly needs defended.
I am who I am. I will take who I am and work it to good.
Who are you? Are you working it to do good?
patrick: elated
I got my iPod back.
I had a feeling I knew who had it at work, so I started mentioning it a lot whenever that person was around. I announced to the house that I didn’t care if anyone ever got in trouble for taking it, and that if they found a way to put it someplace where it would be found, I would be pretty happy.
The next day, someone slipped it into my bag in the office.
The history of the safari browser (yeah, the new iPods can browse the web) had been cleared, and the batteries had been completely drained. But all my data was still there.
heath ledger found dead
Today at about 3:30pm, actor Heath Ledger was found dead in a hotel room, naked and alone, surrounded by pills. He was 28.
I’ve always been a fan of Ledger’s work. He was not only an incredibly good-looking dude, but he was a really good actor. He was already winning awards for his recent roles, and he was just getting his career rolling.
I have recently been rather disturbed by the whole idea of death. I’ve never had anyone close to me die, and so perhaps I’m just gradually experiencing a piece at a time what most people have to experience at some point before they turn 25.
In processing this loss, I realized I was having the same feelings that I’ve been having about my stolen iPod. I have this sensation that what is gone is never coming back, no matter what. Lucky for me, I only lost an iPod.
Ledger left behind a 1 year old daughter.
I have a hard time understanding why God has included such intense pain in the human experience. I can’t imagine what I would do if my wife were to die. I can guarantee one thing though: I would not be the model of stability despite difficult circumstances. I wouldn’t have any energy to care what people thought about how I was handling it. I certainly wouldn’t have any energy to give to quaint, meaningless catch-phrases/cliches/whatever to make myself sound spiritual or mature.
I didn’t even know Heath Ledger, and I’m rather upset that he is dead. It seems to be such a waste of potential. I don’t just mean as an actor, but as a person he was so valuable. And now he is no more.
I don’t get it. What purpose does his death serve? Why should we die at all?
If you email me to tell me that death is the consequence of sin, or some other cliche, I will digitally backslap you.
and my digital backhand is not to be trifled with.
patrick: sans iPod
Some stupid kid at work stole my new iPod touch.
It’s been over three weeks now and I’m still getting angry enough that I can’t sleep. We never figured out who took it or where it is, and I’m even having dreams about finding it.
It’s not so much the loss of the iPod itself that bothers me. It’s more the thought that some kid just plain took something like that with a complete disregard for who he was stealing from. What’s worse is that he probably already dumped it off into a trash can to avoid getting caught, or else slipped it into a bag and sent it home with his parents sometime, which means I’ll probably never see it again.
Even worse is that I had a contact book inside, with pictures and names and phone numbers…including my wife.
And maybe some of you.
patrick: in full support of Ron Paul
you know it.
I don’t support the Republican party in general. I support the Democrats even less. I’m actually registered as a Libertarian. I believe that most of our founding fathers would be shocked at how big our government is today, and how much control they have over our lives. George Washington served his time as our president and when the people tried to turn him into a king, he politely declined, left office, and went back to the private sector. He recognized the danger of any type of government having too much control over its people.
Our federal government is completely bloated and inefficient. Personal liberty has been crucified and thousands of children are living in poverty. I visited the National Archives in Washington DC this past week. I saw the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Declaration of Independence. Our country was founded with the idea that humanity has 3 inalienable rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We need these three rights defended.
Ron Paul will fix our federal government. That guy will get things done. He will fight strongly for the personal liberty of American citizens. He will probably have to spent a lot of his first few years in office removing legislation set in place by the last few presidents and restore to Americans the inalienable right to liberty.
visit ronpaul2008.com and look him up. You might have just found your candidate.
And for heaven’s sake, don’t forget to vote in the primaries. Make it a priority. Whoever wins this election could be a hinge in the unfolding American history, and I for one would like to see some change. Your vote is important.
