patrick: thoughts at 3am part 2
I can’t sleep.
+1.
My inlaws were here this weekend working on my house. We had about 75 projects that we had been working on, some of which for two years now, that needed finished before Amy and I move to Arizonya. (i’m going to call it that from now on. It sounds sassier. And my life needs a little more, sass.)
The moving date is quickly approaching. I have like 8 or 9 days left, depending on how fast we can pack and load the truck. I just realized tonight that there will probably be a decent number of people that I won’t see again already. I know I won’t be able to get around and see everyone I know one last time in the next 8 days. And I’m sure that some of them will not be people that I connect with ever again.
There’s a few people here (Bargers, Turks, Jenna, a few others) that I’m sure I’ll always stay in touch with. There’s about 700 more that I’m sure I probably will just grow apart from, and most of them are really cool people. It’s sad that relationships come and go like that.
I’ll miss so many people here.
We are going to spend about $1800 just to get a truck to get us across the country, and probably another $400-$500 in gas, and $400 in hotels (gotta find the ones that accept pets!)
I’m already broke as a joke. I can’t afford this crap.
I’ve been telling people all this time that we’d probably move back in a year or two. But now, I’m telling people that I’m not doing this again, and I’ll probably stay in Phoenix as long as I can.
You wouldn’t believe all the stuff I own that I absolutely don’t need or want. I have WAYYYY to much stuff. Every box/bag/shelf I went through in my basement gave me this feeling that said: “never buy anything ever again. You probably already own it down here.”
I’m trying to sell some things that I really don’t want to lose. I need a couple thousand dollars right now more than I need any of my cool stuff.
If you want to buy any of this, let me know REALLY soon:
1995 Plymouth Neon – $800
Gibson Les Paul Studio w/Epiphone amp and Vox Tonelab + cables – $1500
Alesis Fusion 88-Key, w/Studio monitors + cables – $1250
Golf Clubs (I forget the brand, but they are 3 years old, and cost $500 new) – $300
Nintendo Gamecube (no cables) – $25
Playstation 1 w/Dance Dance Revolution game and pad – $50
Be a friend. Buy my stuff.
patrick: thoughts at 3am
I can’t sleep.
I wonder how many of my blog posts start with me saying “I can’t sleep.” I bet it’s a lot. Probably 3 or 4 already, and I’ve only been blogging on this site for maybe 18 months or something.
I’ll fill you in on some news: with about 10 days left until we move, Amy and I found out today that someone decided to rent our house from us! We are super excited that this worked out, since we only had 10 days left, and we were really concerned that it might not fill for a few months. Just a week or so ago, we found an apartment to rent in Phoenix that fits us really well, and we’ll be moving in on the 11th of October.
I can’t believe how much is all working out last minute for us. After all the crap that Amy and I have had to put up with over the last three years, I honestly did not expect any of this to work out. I assumed that we would not find a renter for our house, and we would be forced to rent it out after 3 months for less than our mortgage just to get some money to cover our bills.
I mentioned to a new friend of mine the other night that my perspective has changed a lot since 2006. I used to experience bad things and say “It’s ok. God is still good, and he’s going to work this out.” Now, I am more likely to say “God can do what he wants, since he’s God and I’m just some kid trying to make level 70 in World of Warcraft. If he wants my life to suck, that’s his call, not mine.”
I just don’t ever assume that everything will work out, because, in my experience, it usually doesn’t. Well, this time, it kind of is all working out, and I’m not quite sure what to do except tell people that I’m excited that God is letting it work.
Let’s see…what else is going on?
I’ve been playing a lot of chess recently. I play on FICS (Free Internet Chess Server.) What’s cool about my chess hobby right now is that I not only play chess, but I record games, and post videos on youtube, analyzing my matches, and teaching lessons about chess based on those games. It’s a rather enjoyable hobby for me. I know some of you think that makes me an uber-nerd, but I think that if you think that, you are an uber-turd. (turd rhymes with nerd…it’s funny when it’s 3am.)
What Really Counts
You know that between the Iraq War and these corporate bailouts, we’ve spent about 2 TRILLION dollars?
That’s enough to feed the entire world’s population for 2 years.
That’s enough to provide mosquito nets, immunizations, vitamins, clean water to everyone on the planet.
That’s enough to build schools within 5 kilometers of every child on the planet.
That’s enough to provide reproductive health care for every woman on earth.
(2 Trillion would do ALL of these things…about 100 times over.)
That’s enough to land on the moon…10,000 times.
It’s time we start spending money on the REAL big issues, like clean water in Africa, or feeding the starving children.
Did you know that more than 1 billion people around the world do not have access to clean drinking water? And every year, 5 million of them die from water-borne illnesses.
Did you know that 40% of the world’s population does not have access to basic sanitation?
Did you know that 3 million people die of malaria every year?
Did you know that 6 million children under five die every year just from hunger?
Did you know that 6000 people die of AIDS every day, and another 8200 people get infected?
You know that politicians spend money on whatever they have to get into office, right? Why don’t we all tell them we’ll vote for whoever will handle these social issues? For less than 1/10th of this government bailout of Wall Street, we could dig wells withing 5 kilometers of every person on the planet, AND build schools for every child on the planet, AND reduce malaria deaths to ZERO, and provide reproductive health for EVERY WOMAN ON THE PLANET.
This started as an email response, and has turned into a blog post. Whoever you are reading this, you need to care about suffering people. If you don’t, you deserve to switch places with them.
The #1 Voting Issue
I’m sick of liberal government spending.
Every single person in America had to pay $3278 to pay for the recent government bailouts of Wall Street. Well, that’s not entirely accurate, considering that about 1/3 of Americans pay no income tax at all. But let’s just say that it averages out to this much. You want to know what that money could buy? The following quote is from the Libertarian party’s email newsletter:
One trillion dollars ($1,000,000,000,000) is enough money:
- To buy everybody living in Los Angeles at least one Lamborghini Gallardo.
- To buy 88,052, 394′ custom mega yachts; enough to stretch around ¼ of the world.
- To buy everyone living in Belize and Malta a Manhattan apartment.
- To get half of the Democratic Party into a fundraiser for Barack Obama at the $28,500 admission price.
- To give one out of every two men in the United States a Men’s Presidential Rolex watch.
- To buy every woman in the United States a Tiffany Diamond Starfish Pendant.
- To get two Mitsubishi 73″ HDTVs for every household in America.
- To buy four copies of The Office: Season Four on DVD, to every person on earth.
- To send everybody in America on an all-inclusive vacation to Tahiti (and some people can stay a few extra days).
AND…
$1 trillion is enough money for everyone in Buffalo, NY to buy their own 65-acre island in Panama.
And I’m sick of it. I don’t want the government to so liberally spend my money. This bailout is costing Americans as much as the entire Iraq War.
Cut those two things alone and we have 2 trillion dollars to work on our own damned economy. (not to mention a few thousand American soldiers would be still alive, and a few HUNDRED THOUSAND IRAQI CIVILIANS!!!)
No matter what you’ve heard me say before, my new #1 voting issue from now on is Controlled Governement Spending.
patrick: with lots to do
Moving takes a lot of energy. I’m still 3 weeks away from my move date, and you could hardly tell by looking at our house that that we are getting ready to move. There’s SO much to do. I’m focusing right now on working extra hours at work to pay for the trip, and getting ahead (ahem….caught up) on homework so that I can take the week off during the move.
I still have to pack…everything I own. We’re trying to figure out what to leave behind and what to bring along. Our new apartment is smaller than what we’re used to here, which sucks when you already have too much stuff.
I’m a little concerned about what it’s going to be like for our dogs out there. We’ve got a 2nd floor apartment, with no yard of our own. We have to walk them on leashes down some steps several times a day just to use the bathroom, and they won’t like that at ALL. Plus we’ll have to scoop every time, which is unpleasant.
I’m concerned about my house here in Indiana. I need to find someone to rent it, and they need to move in soon. I can’t afford to have it sitting open for a few months while we figure our crap out in Phoenix. We need some people to move in by the end of October at the latest.
More than anything, I’m concerned about money. I don’t have any. I have less than none. I owe. And I need a couple thousand dollars more than what is coming to even make it to Phoenix.
I believe that God is faithful, but that doesn’t mean that everything always works out. And I want it all to work out, you know?
patrick: remembers
Today is the 7th anniversary of one of the worst days of American history. I woke up early this morning and my heart was troubled, but I didn’t know why. Within a few blurry minutes, I remembered what day it was, and climbed out of bed to check the news. I always check the news immediately on September 11th, afraid of what some maniac might do on the infamous date.
I was in college when 9-11 happened. I was eating breakfast with Blaine Horst, who worked for Grace Bretheren International Missions. We were talking about the possibility of going to Vietnam and Cambodia together in the spring for a few weeks. We sat in alpha dining on the campus of Grace College at a round table in the middle of the room. I had my back to the TV and Blaine was sitting across from me. I remember that I was talking and Blaine suddenly wasn’t paying attention. He was looking over my left shoulder at the TV on the wall.
I turned and saw the familiar NYC skyline. I had spent a lot of time in NYC when I was growing up, visiting my mom, who lived there for a few years. I still have pictures of she and I with the World Trade Center in the background. The smoke pouring out of WTC tower 1 turned my stomach. While we sat there watching, at 9:02am, United 175 crashed into WTC 2. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was so unreal, I sat there and tried to convince myself it was some sort of mistake, or that I was imagining things and that it was not actually real. The gravity of the situation hadn’t quite hit me yet.
I left breakfast a few minutes later and headed to Lancer Gym to meet my Healthy Lifestyles class for a jog. I ran alongside my close friend Mark and told him that I had seen two plane crashes on the news, hitting both world trade center towers. He said (I’m paraphrasing here): “No way. That couldn’t have happened. You just saw one crash twice.”
After our jog, we walked down to McClain to chapel. On the way in, I heard someone say “…yeah, and another one crashed into the Pentagon!” At this point, I started thinking that people were exaggerating the story. We sat down in chapel and Jim Swanson stood up in front of us and told us that we had been attacked by terrorists, and that planes had indeed hit both towers and the pentagon.
I sat there with my new girlfriend (and eventual wife) Amy, whom I had been dating for only a week. It took so long for all of it to hit me. I just sat in shock for maybe 10 minutes before I realized how many people I needed to call. My family lived just outside of Washington DC, and my father worked around the Pentagon often. I had family at Andrews Air Force Base. My mother was an American Airlines flight attendant.
I realized that I needed to leave and told Amy I’d call her later and let her know what was going on. I ran back to my dorm to call my family. On the way in, my friend Travis was just walking out to his car. He had slept in. I told him what was going on and made my way inside. I called home and reached my stopmom Georgette. She sounded in a panic. She said “dad’s ok, he’s heading home. He felt an explosion at the pentagon. the boys are coming home from school. Nana is stuck on Andrews, and can’t get out. Pop’s on an airplane that left DC. I have to go so dad can call in.”
I didn’t know what to do with all that.
My grandpa was flying from DC that day, on his way down to Florida for a work-related trip. His plane was grounded in Raleigh or Atlanta. (I can’t remember which.) He called home to my grandmother and said “I don’t know why, but we had to land early, and they won’t tell us anything. I’m going to get another plane and get down to Florida.” Grandma told him “You can’t get another plane, honey, they won’t let any take off. We’re under attack.” Pop said “Ok, then I’ll rent a truck. I need to get to Florida!” Pop’s one of the last remnants of the old-school hard-working generation. He didn’t care what got in his way, he was determined to get his job done before he stopped to look around.
My dad works in DC. He is a partner in a company that does network solutions for the federal government. He was driving past the Pentagon and felt an explosion that rocked his truck. He picked his way through paniced beltway traffic and made his way home.
My mom was in the air that morning, flying into Miami International Airport from South America. I didn’t know where she was at the time, of course, and tried calling her cell unsuccessfully. The news reports didn’t mention anything happening in the south east, so I had to accept the fact that she was probably safe and wait for a call.
I walked back over to alpha to meet Amy and figure out what to do with the rest of my day. I ended up in alpha lobby, where I stood with 5 or 6 others and watched the TV in Emily Hoover’s apartment. Slowly, I got more information from home (everyone was safe) and from my mom (she was safe as well.) I watched, like all of you probably did as well, as both towers collapsed. My friends and I rushed to give blood that day, and we were turned away by the red cross. They had collected more that day than they were equipped to handle, and planned to return 10 days later at Grace to accept more donations.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the last seven years watching videos of the attacks, analyzing data, and listening to conspiracy theorists spout their ideas. My best estimate is that I’ve spent somewhere just over 1000 hours studying the events of 9-11. I’ve often been swayed by sensational claims of an inside job, talk of thermite, arguments about F-15s scrambling at only ~30% of their max speed, and free-fall speeds. I’ve done my homework with a clear mind and a clean conscience, and I thought it would be worth my time and yours to tell you that there’s nothing that points at anything happening that day other than a devious plot by a murderous mastermind in the middle east. We could have been more organized. We could have been more pro-active. We could have been more secure. But we did not dream up these plans ourselves.
I spent this morning watching the dedication of the Pentagon memorial, where those who lost their lives that day in DC are being remembered. It was a beautiful ceremony, with a lone bagpiper taking a lonely march through the memorial, playing Amazing Grace.
I encourage you all to take a few moments today and sit in silence and remember the events of seven years ago, in respect to those who lost their lives. Care enough to mourn. I am brought to tears every year when I take the time to go back through all the video, all my material, and remember once again the events of September 11th.
patrick: on Joel
My college roommate Joel has cancer.
No one deserves cancer less than Joel. The only person I knew that actually deserved it less than Joel died of cancer already: my aunt Paula Vermiere, who passed away in May of this year.
Joel has always been fit. Some people get cancer and I think “Of course. do you see how poorly he takes care of himself?” But Joel has always been fit.
Joel is kind. Some people get sick and I think “All those years of being rude to people, and taking advantage of the less-fortunate has come back to bite you in the ass.” But Joel has always been kind.
Joel just plain doesn’t deserve this. He’s such a good dude.
I’ll tell you who else doesn’t deserve this: Joel’s wife Kristen. Kristen has always been the model of stability in my eyes. When I first met her, when she was a friend of my wife’s and Joel was a friend of mine, I thought “They’d be a good fit.” They are both so well balanced, and fun to be around.
My friend and co-worker Tom just lost his wife to cancer a few months ago. He didn’t deserve it. He’s a compassionate man.
Why does it often seem that the best of us are inflicted with the worst trials? Joel isn’t superman, but he is a man of intense faith, of unswerving perseverance, and of steadfast character.
If you are the kind of person that prays, please pray for Joel and Kristen. If you are the kind that encourages, please drop them a note at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joelmartin
Whoever you are, whatever your struggle, be encouraged this day. Even a 26 year-old cancer fighter can do amazing things. Joel is inspiring people all over with his attitude. Whoever you are reading this, you probably don’t have cancer, but you feel held back by something much smaller. Resist the temptation to sit on your hands and feel sorry for yourself. Get up. If Joel can get up everyday with a positive attitude, so can you.
patrick: seminarian
You want to know what I think about being in Seminary right now? I think I’ve been in school for too long, already. That’s what I think.
I’ve been in school for almost all of the last 22 years. TWENTY-TWO YEARS. That’s most of my life. I think that might be too long. I was doing some figuring today and I realized that when I finish seminary, I will have added about $30,000 to my debt (more than an entire year’s salary!) and what I will have to show for it is a couple of shiny letters next to my name that won’t have very much relevance to my career field.
Patrick Rice, M.A. in Local Church Ministry.
I don’t even often go to a local church.
I’m not saying that my experience at Grace Theological Seminary has been a bad one. All around, it’s been rather pleasant. I’m just not expecting to be spending a lot of time rubbing shoulders with christians in churches, talking about programs and neighborhood outreach and contemporary christian music and all the things they waste their time on. I don’t have any energy for that.
Most of my time every day is spent encouraging kids who’ve been beaten up and kicked and raped and bruised by the world. There’s no church program for that, because it can’t be programmed. Jesus didn’t put up flyers to advertise his next big speech. He just went where hurting people were and talked to them in a way that was relevant to the audience. His words were full of grace and love.
I don’t expect to ever have time to sit around in church buildings and plan big programs to entertain people so that they will show up again next week with their wallets open. Ultimately, I sat around in those kinds of programs for over 20 years and it left me depressed and jaded. I spent thousands of my own dollars trying to pull off impressive programming in local church ministry. The end result of all that time and money was a $10,000 credit card bill that will take me over 5 years to repay. I’m not doing that again.
When I graduate seminary, it will be bittersweet. I’ll be glad to be done with it, so I don’t have to constantly feel bad for not finishing. I’ll be appreciative of the wisdom I’ve picked up along the way. But I will not be qualified to do anything. There are no jobs out there that I’m at all interested in doing that will reward me for having an M.A. in Local Church Ministry.
I’m taking another paycut this month, to move out to Phoenix and try for something different out there. This time, I think I might be getting closer to what I really want to do, and I think that I can be successful doing it. It has nothing to do with local church ministry. It has everything to do with loving God and loving people. It does not require a degree.
Sounds good.
patrick: on beer
I like beer.
You’re not supposed to admit that on your blog, when you are well aware that your grandmother reads from time to time. And your pastor. And your mom.
But it’s true, and I’m going to say it: I like beer.
Most people, when they talk about drinking beer, are referring to college parties, Bud light (or Coors, or Miller, or whatever), and getting drunk and doing ridiculous things. But it’s not that way for me. I don’t enjoy being drunk, I haven’t been to a college party since…college, and you’ll never catch me with a Bud Light in my hands.
If you see me with a beer in my hands, you will probably see me holding it up to the light, writing down notes about the sediment, sticking my nose way into the glass for 30 seconds before I take a sip, and rolling the beer around on my tongue for 5 seconds before I swallow. Then, back to the notepad to take more notes on the various types of hops I can make out, the different citrus flavors or floral aromas, or that little touch of clove or banana that I’ve discovered. I take notes about mouthfeel, use words like “palate”, and assign a score to “drinkability.”
In short, I rate beers for a hobby.
Some of you might consider yourselves beer-drinkers, but you’ve never had anything you couldn’t get at wal-mart. This is sad, because you have no idea what you are missing. Some people drink beer their whole lives without trying anything except American macro lagers. This is worse than sad; This is barbaric.
If you ask someone what their favorite beer is, and they say “bud. bud’s good,” then they don’t know anything about beer. I once had a very close friend tell me “Anyone who is pretentious enough to call themselves “the king of beer” is good enough for me.” (referring, of course, to budweiser.)
But on the flip side, if you ask someone about their favorite beer, and they respond thusly, you’ve found yourself a beer nerd:
“Well, it’s hard to say what I like the best. I’m a big fan of IPAs, so Stone IPA or Three Floyd’s Dreadnaught Imperial IPA are both up there for me. But I’m not always looking for 100 IBUs, you know? So sometimes I like to settle down with a nice glass of FFF Alpha King or Great Lakes Burning River Ale. I recently had a couple trappistes that I really enjoyed. The Westvleteren 12 is obviously amazing there, but have you had the Rochefort 10? It’ll knock your socks off! Plus with 11.3 ABV, you’re encouraged to sip a little slower and savor the rich malts. Speaking of strong ales, have you had Arrogant Bastard Ale? Oh my gosh, it was probably the best strong ale I’ve ever had. Sometimes I just want something light, you know? And I’ll grab a Victory Prima Pils. Although, I gotta say, my favorite beer of all time is easily Delirium Tremens. It took me forever to find someplace to get it, but now I can’t get enough of it! It’s so complex! The mouthfeel is perfect!”
I’m the second guy. I’m the beer nerd.
I like beer.
patrick: on Palin
John McCain this week bought himself a ticket to the white house.
That ticket is Sarah Palin.
Whoever collects votes from people like me (post-modern, post-Republican, post-religious, post-college, 20-30 something) will win this election. Nothing John McCain has done in his campaign has particularly captured my attention. That is, of course, until he selected Sarah Palin as his running-mate.
Suddenly, I’m voting Republican again. I didnt’ see that one coming.
Obama used to have to “charismatic speech” edge. Sarah Palin is even better than Obama, and she’s actually saying things that would be good for people, which is something Obama isn’t doing.
I’m not a republican. I’m not a democrat either. I’m registered as a Libertarian. I’ve been thinking about voting for Bob Barr (the Libertarian nominee, since none of you know his name) but I want Sarah Palin in the White House so bad, McCain is getting my vote. If she can do half of what she did in Alaska for our federal government, then America will be much better off in 2012.
There are a few key issues that are important to me in this election.
1. The War in Iraq: Let’s get our troops home, but let’s be sure not to leave them worse off than when we started the war. We need to have a gameplan for retreat.
2. The Economy: Raising taxes and raising minimum wage is a guaranteed way to ensure that the dollar stays weak and the economy stays weak. We need controlled government spending, a balanced budget, and less government handouts. Sarah Palin represents a HUGE step towards a positive change in this regard. Developing energy independance by drilling oil in Alaska and harvesting natural gas, will make a huge difference in that regard.
Have you noticed how much the price of average groceries has gone up in the last year or so. A gallon of milk is a dollar more than it was a year ago, where I shop. That’s because of how expensive it is to ship it to the grocery store. Everything goes up in price when oil is up. We gotta bring the price of oil down. The best way to do that is to increase the supply worldwide. The best way to do that is to drill us up some!
3. Poverty: The government should be providing a healthy framework for Americans to exercise their constitutional freedoms. Grants should be made available for non-profits to combat freedom their own way, rather than dumping money into an ass-backwards welfare system. Allow non-profits to assist whoever is willing to WORK their way out of poverty. Don’t waste money on those who are able to work but choose to avoid it for fear of losing their disability/welfare checks. (I know many such people. It makes me sick.)
I hope you all caught that Sarah Palin speech tonight, because if you did, I’m guessing you’re a believer too. She’s got me seriously thinking about running for local office. That’s the kind of fired up that you should experience when you hear a charismatic speech.
Consider this: When Obama gives one of his good speeches, is your reaction to be excited about what he might do as President, or what you might do in response? It doesn’t surprise me that the Democrat nominee gets me excited about what government can do for me, and the Republican candidate gets me excited about what I, an average American, can do for my country.
Vote for Palin.
Oh, and McCain too, I guess.
