patrick: on beer

September 6, 2008 at 2:03 pm (Uncategorized)

I like beer.

You’re not supposed to admit that on your blog, when you are well aware that your grandmother reads from time to time. And your pastor. And your mom.

But it’s true, and I’m going to say it: I like beer.

Most people, when they talk about drinking beer, are referring to college parties, Bud light (or Coors, or Miller, or whatever), and getting drunk and doing ridiculous things. But it’s not that way for me. I don’t enjoy being drunk, I haven’t been to a college party since…college, and you’ll never catch me with a Bud Light in my hands.

If you see me with a beer in my hands, you will probably see me holding it up to the light, writing down notes about the sediment, sticking my nose way into the glass for 30 seconds before I take a sip, and rolling the beer around on my tongue for 5 seconds before I swallow. Then, back to the notepad to take more notes on the various types of hops I can make out, the different citrus flavors or floral aromas, or that little touch of clove or banana that I’ve discovered. I take notes about mouthfeel, use words like “palate”, and assign a score to “drinkability.”

In short, I rate beers for a hobby.

Some of you might consider yourselves beer-drinkers, but you’ve never had anything you couldn’t get at wal-mart. This is sad, because you have no idea what you are missing. Some people drink beer their whole lives without trying anything except American macro lagers. This is worse than sad; This is barbaric.

If you ask someone what their favorite beer is, and they say “bud. bud’s good,” then they don’t know anything about beer. I once had a very close friend tell me “Anyone who is pretentious enough to call themselves “the king of beer” is good enough for me.” (referring, of course, to budweiser.)

But on the flip side, if you ask someone about their favorite beer, and they respond thusly, you’ve found yourself a beer nerd:

“Well, it’s hard to say what I like the best. I’m a big fan of IPAs, so Stone IPA or Three Floyd’s Dreadnaught Imperial IPA are both up there for me. But I’m not always looking for 100 IBUs, you know? So sometimes I like to settle down with a nice glass of FFF Alpha King or Great Lakes Burning River Ale. I recently had a couple trappistes that I really enjoyed. The Westvleteren 12 is obviously amazing there, but have you had the Rochefort 10? It’ll knock your socks off! Plus with 11.3 ABV, you’re encouraged to sip a little slower and savor the rich malts. Speaking of strong ales, have you had Arrogant Bastard Ale? Oh my gosh, it was probably the best strong ale I’ve ever had. Sometimes I just want something light, you know? And I’ll grab a Victory Prima Pils. Although, I gotta say, my favorite beer of all time is easily Delirium Tremens. It took me forever to find someplace to get it, but now I can’t get enough of it! It’s so complex! The mouthfeel is perfect!”

I’m the second guy. I’m the beer nerd.

I like beer.